When I was pregnant with my first son in 2007, my Endo at the time put me on a Medtronic pump and I’ve been on it ever since. Until this weekend.
I’d made the decision to take a break for many reasons. If I’m being honest, the main reason is money- I am thankful to have insurance, but my current plan does not pay much at ALL toward my diabetes supplies. Luckily my insulin copay is good but not the supplies.
But I digress.
My Endo put me on Triseba for my long lasting insulin, and I am continuing with Humalog for my bolusing. I was on Lantus the last time I was on MDI and at the time it didn’t last the full 24 hours so I had to take it in two doses. He has said Triseba will be better but we shall see. #fingerscrossed
Here are my first few observations after being back on MDI for almost 48 hours.
First, I have apparently forgotten how to do math. I never realized how much I relied on my pump to do all the thinking for me but good grief I feel like a newly dx’d kid again that can’t figure out how to add up how much insulin I need to take. Granted there is SO much math involved- not only do I figure out my carb ratio (how many units of insulin I need per gram of carb) but then I have to figure out what my correction should be if my blood sugar is higher than my “target range”. My husband has been a God send this weekend because he’s a walking human calculator. But I am sure tomorrow when I’m back at work and in the real world, I’ll be using my calculator until this starts to make sense again. #dontjudge
I had been having some painful pump sites lately so it’s been kind of nice not having to worry about where my pump is so I can make sure my kids don’t bump into it.
I also am having a hard time getting used to not having my pump attached to me 24/7. I’ve always found it a little inconvenient but I didn’t realize how “attached” I was, pardon the pun. Little things like when I go to the bathroom I no longer have to think in the back of my mind “where is my pump site so I don’t pull it out?” Or at night when I sleep I am strategic about where to clip my pump. Or when I get in the shower I no longer have to hurry up so I can reconnect myself to my pump so I can avoid a rising blood sugar.
But that first time I gave my injection yesterday….in my head I was my 17 year old newly diagnosed self. And my husband and one of my sons were standing there and I had to leave the room. Because I had to cry. Not because it hurt (I mean it did a little) but it’s because I had to mentally prepare myself to inject that plunger of life support into my leg. Once I did it I was fine but it took some coaxing for my brain to tell my hand to actually do it.
Diabetes can be a very emotional disease. Even after almost 26 years of living with this, it is always there. And these last 48 hours it has been in the forefront of my mind more than usual but at the same time I’ve been reminded how much it was there even when I didn’t realize it.
I am wearing my Dexcom so I’m logging my blood sugars and injections and food … so I’ll update in a few days after the Tresiba has had a chance to kick in and hopefully start working it’s magic. Stay tuned!