Guilty sharing?

My husband traveled out of the country two years ago for the first time .. and I was honestly a little worried about being left “alone” – at the time we had a 5 year old and the twins were 3 mos old. My blood sugars were still leveling out after giving birth, and to say I had a full plate was an understatement. I was tired – the boys were just starting to sleep more throughout the night, but there were still many many bottles to feed, and many many diapers to change, and I was going to be solo for almost 2 weeks. I reached out to several of my friends in the DOC – some I hadn’t even met yet in person. Just asking them to check in on me every now and then. Especially if they saw big gaps from when I was posting on social media. (Hmm… maybe that means I’m on social media too much? lol But I digress… ) And they all did that – and it truly helped me knowing there were people looking out for me.

This year when he went out of the country, I was in a much different situation. I still have some friends checking in on me, but mostly through the Share feature on my Dexcom. My husband is getting alarms while he’s on another continent, and I have a local friend that is 5 min away that gets alarms, and another good friend from the DOC is checking on me (shout out, Karen!). But I’m finding it interesting how different all 3 of their perspectives are on this technology.

Hubby – Appreciates that he can see my numbers (when he’s on WiFi – otherwise the cost of that would be outrageous! lol) But at the same time, it worries him if he wakes up and I’m in the 40s/50s and he is on the other side of the world and can’t do anything for me. Yesterday I hit 47 and it was middle of the day here, but middle of the night there, so he woke up the next morning to that alarm on his phone and it worried him, hoping I’d treated it and was ok. But there’s been several times he’s texted me asking if I’m ok.

Local friend – She has it set up to alarm her when I get below 75. So when she gets the alarms, she’ll text me and ask if I’ve eaten, or wants to figure out why I’m low and offer suggestions on maintaining a level bg going forward. (disclaimer – she is not T1, and I am the only real exposure she has to T1.) It is helpful to me knowing she’s 5 min away and can be here if for some reason I don’t answer her calls/texts if she sees a low.

Then there’s Karen. She lives in another state, but she offered to follow me to just be a check in if she sees I’m low. Doesn’t want to hover, and said that if she sees I’m low, she’ll just send a quick text to make sure I’m ok and make sure I’m treating it, and then she knows I’m good. She is also a T1 so she gets that when you’re in the middle of treating a low, all you need to do at that point is treat it and get past it. She is also well aware of the fact that you can feel very disoriented, so that’s why she just wants to make sure I’m on it and alert enough to treat it.

She and I had an interesting conversation yesterday that really stuck out to me. She said she felt bad bothering me by texting to see if I’m ok. I told her I appreciate the texts, and I’M the one that feels bad – I feel like I’m inconveniencing everyone that gets theses alarms (even though I’m close with all 3 people – it doesn’t matter.) Pretty much every time my alarms have gone off, one of the first thoughts I have is “I need to let [fill in the blanks] know I’m ok so they don’t worry.” And Karen said to me that I shouldn’t have to worry about inconveniencing THEM when I’M the one trying to get myself out of a low blood sugar situation.

I hadn’t thought about it like that – but that’s exactly what happens. I’m taking time out of treating myself – to let them know that I’m ok. I’ve heard many people say that guilt is something they really struggle with, where their diabetes is concerned. And I’d never really felt like that was a concern of mine … but I’m starting to see that maybe it does in fact play a part.

So will I still feel bad about “inconveniencing” them? Yes, probably. But these are people that I’m close with and they have all voluntarily offered to follow my numbers/receive alarms, because they care about ME and want to make sure I’m ok. And for that, I am eternally grateful. 🙂

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About Shannon

I am a wife, a mommy, and a Type 1 diabetic (since '92.) I have had two successful pregnancies - one of which was with twins. I wear an insulin pump- - off and on for 17 years; currently on the Medtronic pump and CGM. I am not a medical professional, nor am I giving medical advice. I am just sharing my day to day stories of someone who lives with this disease every day. My ultimate goal is to raise awareness.
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3 Responses to Guilty sharing?

  1. Karen says:

    I was meaning to ask you if you would mind if I blogged about this. I’m guessing the answer is that you don’t mind, since you blogged about it too. 😉 But please let me know. I’ve learned some unexpected insights and I think it would be cool to share. (No pun intended with Dex Share.)

    Anyway, yes, it alarms me when you hit 55 and as long as I know you aren’t too confused to treat, I’m good. 🙂 Because I have been in occasions when I sat with fruit snacks in my hand wondering if I was supposed to eat them or not. Sometimes we just need someone to tell us “Drink the juice, Shelby!”.

    • Shannon says:

      Of course I don’t mind! I’d love to hear your perspective on it, too (beyond what we’ve already talked about.)

      And I almost spit out my tea from LOL’ing at “Drink the juice, Shelby!”

      Thanks, friend!!!

  2. Pingback: CGM Dilemma | No More Shots for Shannon

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