I’ve read a few different friends’ blogs over the last couple of years where they talk about getting burned out with the DOC (Diabetes Online Community)… whether it’s by comments made, or just simply feeling the pressures of feeling like they have to keep up with their blog posts on a regular/daily basis.
I’ve never really felt burned out, per se, but I have had to put it on a back burner for several reasons the last year.
But something that I have started to realize is I think one reason I’m not posting as often … I tend to sometimes find myself envious, jealous, whatever you want to call it. That sounds silly of me to even say that, but if I’m being completely honest, it’s true. Don’t get me wrong, the DOC has quite literally been a life saver for me – I’ve said it a million times and I’ll say it again .. it has kept me more in line and more in tune with my diabetes than I’ve EVER been in the now 21+ years I’ve lived as a T1. And I’m in better control now than I ever have been.
But I sometimes find myself thinking things like “Why can’t my A1C be as good as so-and-so’s” or “Why do I require so much more insulin than he/she does?” or “Why do they get invited to different events and I don’t?” or “Why do they get asked to trial such and such product, and I don’t?” Then I start coming up with reasons – “It’s because you ate that pizza last night.” or “If you didn’t eat so many carbs, your insulin needs would go way down.” or “They put their heart and soul into their advocacy efforts and blogs, and all you do is update your blog every now and then.”
Before you say it, yes, I know none of those are rational, even if they are true. And I’m in no way wallowing in self pity … just being honest. And deep down I do know that YDMV (Your Diabetes May Vary) – each and every one of us have different ways we need to control our diabetes.
I’m going to still continue blogging – it’s lethargic and helpful for me. And the comments/emails I get from people that read my posts are enough reason to continue. 🙂 Like I’ve said many times, I only wish I’d had these friends/blogs when I was going through the first 18ish years of living with this … but at least it’s available NOW and it’s only looking UP from here. 🙂