Overthinker I am

I have my 3 month Endo appt today…and like most other T1’s feel before theirs, I’m dreading it.  There is always the dread of knowing that my numbers will be higher than the last time.  At my last appt, I had been doing a low carb diet and had lost a few pounds and was taking less than 1/2 of my insulin that I’d been taking before then.  So it was no suprise that my A1C had dropped a full point.  I was SO proud of myself. This time, I have no doubt it will have crept back up. :/  I’ve had a stressful couple of months and my blood sugars are definitely reflective of that.

I was telling one of my fellow DOC’ers, Kelly, the other day that by now the number is what it is, and I can’t change it going backwards. But what I CAN change is the number going forward. So that’s all I can do. 🙂 No real reason to stress because it’s not going to change anything at this point.

Does anyone else besides me strategically schedule their appt beforelunch but after the 2 hour breakfast mark?  I want a good number to show up on that meter when they prick my finger. And if it’s not a good number, I always have some sort of excuse – “I had a late breakfast”, “I just had a cup of coffee”, “I was low an hour ago”.. etc.  Sad, but true.

And then the worst thing I find myself doing … is right after my appt, I treat myself to a “good” lunch, because it’s as if I’m free and won’t have anyone looking at my numbers for awhile. I only do it for lunch – it’s not like I do this for the next 3 months. But it’s something I’ve always done. Maybe it is more of a treat.. to reward myself for getting through the appt.  I always thought I was the only one that obsessed about my endo appt – beat myself up over them. Until finding so many others in the DOC that do the same thing.  It’s not fun, but it’s a fact of life that we all go through.  None of this is helped by the fact that I’m an admitted overthinker. 😉

Off to print my CGM graphs …

About Shannon

I am a wife, a mommy, and a Type 1 diabetic (since '92.) I have had two successful pregnancies - one of which was with twins. I wear an insulin pump- - off and on for 17 years; currently on the Medtronic pump and CGM. I am not a medical professional, nor am I giving medical advice. I am just sharing my day to day stories of someone who lives with this disease every day. My ultimate goal is to raise awareness.
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8 Responses to Overthinker I am

  1. I reward myself for all successful medical appointments with Starbucks (successful is sometimes loosely defined to mean that I showed up). I think self-rewarding isn’t a bad thing… food (Starbucks in my situation) may seem counterproductive but as long as you appropriately bolus, I don’t think it’s harmful.

    Hope your appointment goes well!

    • Shannon says:

      I lol’d at your definition of successful — greatness. It was a good appt. I was actually very surprised to see my A1C had gone DOWN from the last one. Only by .2 but a decrease is a decrease. I’ll take it!

  2. Keiran says:

    Good luck on the appointment!! And you’re definitely not alone, I know I’ve read that before, about people treating themselves right after the A1C test. I think one of my docs even mentioned it to me before (maybe my diabetes nutritionist) because it’s a “vague spot” that “won’t count”.

  3. Johanna B says:

    I have my appt next Tuesday. My A1C “should” have come down some but we all know how that goes. At this point it will be what it is and I can’t do anything about it now.

  4. Scott E says:

    I don’t dread Endo appointments… lately I’ve actually grown to look forward to them! Maybe it’s my great doctor, maybe it’s my newfound inspiration to take the extra step to keep my blood sugars under control (I don’t actually DO it, but I am inspired to do it!). But I always do a fingerstick just before going in, and correct as needed, so there are no surprises. And yes, I always have an excuse to rationalize the number. Sometimes scheduling the appointment right after lunch is a good thing, because there’s always a built-in excuse in that case.

    I also tend to “indulge” a bit after my endo appointment. It’s like the freedom to loosen my belt and let my gut hang out because, finally, nobody’s watching and I can finally relax. (No, I don’t really do that, but it’s the best analogy I can think of!)

    • Shannon says:

      Haha! That’s actually a funny analogy. I did have a “good” lunch (Taco Bueno -yummy! It’s a local place) but tomorrow is a new day. 🙂 I’m in much better spirits because my A1C was down (no idea how THAT happened though!) and I don’t want to screw it up. My next A1C is already starting to count now so I need to stay on the ball!

      • Scott E says:

        Well, my endo schedules appointments every 4 months, not every 3 (for some reason. He’s busy? I don’t know, but he’s THAT good, so I accept it). So I guess I get a “free” month!

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