I’ve always wondered….

I’ve always wondered is it “better” to have been diagnosed as an almost adult (one month before my 18th birthday – Happy Birthday to me!) or to be a child.  Now, keep in mind that like I said before, I feel our pages were written long before we got here, so I am in no way wishing this disease upon anyone, of ANY age. Just saying if we didn’t have a choice……. 

When I was in the hospital for that week after my diagnosis, there was a little boy, around 18 months old, who was diagnosed at the same time, and he and his parents were in the same training classes with me.  I still remember that little boy to this day, and wonder how the last 19 1/2 years have been for him.  What different perspectives we must have.  Is it “better” to be able to live a normal childhood – to be able to go trick-or-treating with my friends and actually get to EAT the candy, to be able to have and go to birthday parties and not have to count my carbs, go to sleepovers without my mom having to make sure there is an adult that at least has a basic understanding of diabetes, etc., but then one day be told “Oh yea you can’t have that anymore, and your life is going to be flipped upside down.” Or is it “better” to be so young and not know any different?   To this day, I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer to that question. Just something I have always thought about.

And I have mentioned before, but I have friends now that are moms to T1’s.  I have so much respect for those moms, because I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be to have to treat this disease from “afar”.  You can be right there, standing next to your child 24/7, but still can never fully know what it feels like when they go low/high. You can SEE the symptoms, and sit with him/her while they start to feel better.. but I cannot imagine the helpless feeling of not being able to know – to know when your baby is going high/low.  At least for me, the “lucky” thing was being old enough to know and manage this thing for the most part, by myself. My mom has always been there – but she’s never had to really deal with this firsthand.  I’ve taken it on full force by myself (by choice, mainly) for the last 19 1/2 years.

And something else I have always told myself is “If I was destined to have an incurable disease, at least I have one that I can control.”

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About Shannon

I am a wife, a mommy, and a Type 1 diabetic (since '92.) I have had two successful pregnancies - one of which was with twins. I wear an insulin pump- - off and on for 17 years; currently on the Medtronic pump and CGM. I am not a medical professional, nor am I giving medical advice. I am just sharing my day to day stories of someone who lives with this disease every day. My ultimate goal is to raise awareness.
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2 Responses to I’ve always wondered….

  1. Great post, Shannon. I’ve wondered this myself. On one hand, I feel “lucky” in that I was diagnosed so young (at age 5) because now after 28 years this is really all I’ve ever known. I haven’t had to re-train myself to live any differently. I’m sure there are pros and cons to each, but in the end no one has it worse or better – D isn’t what we wish onto anyone of any age, as you said. Thanks for writing this.

    • Shannon says:

      Thank you for the kind words. This question has been in the back of my mind most days for the last 19 years. And like I said, there is no right answer. Just a pondering thought. 😉

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