When I decided to start writing this blog, I didn’t think much past the “telling my story” part. Thought once I get to the day to day rambling thoughts, it would get boring. But I’ve surprised myself every day by how much my brain is thinking “Oh you should add that to tomorrow’s blog.” Or “Take a picture of that, to add to your blog.” So maybe I can keep this thing going after all. 😉
Last night, when I was changing my pump site, I had a very selfish moment. My last two sites have hurt. They have both been in my abdomen and most of the time I honestly do not feel my site but these two times, I did. Only when I’m bolusing, though. But it burns like crazy the entire time those tiny drops of insulin are traveling through the tubing into the cannula that is inserted under my skin. Then voila, as soon as I hear that beep telling me it’s finished, it’s all better again. The last two times have also left knots under my skin for several days. After 19 1/2 years, I am running out of places to inject myself that isn’t a little bit sore at times. So my selfish moment was not wanting to put the pump back on. I got home from E’s soccer game, and got A ready for bed … and took off my pump because it was beeping at me saying I had a “Low Reservoir”. I took it off and walked around a free woman for a good 20 min as I got him ready for bed, including bedtime stories. I was able to lay down on his new big boy bed with him and not have to worry about which side of the bed I could comfortably lay on, and not be laying on my site, or having to unclip my pump so as not to lay on it. And TMI alert, but I could also go to the bathroom without having to worry about being careful pulling my pants up/down – sorry, but it’s a fact of life and we all do it. Just some of us have to be careful to not rip out an injection site each time (which DOES happen). But after those 20 minutes, the rational side of my brain won over the argument with the other side of my brain that didn’t want to put it back on .. and I was in the kitchen, with all the ingredients you saw before, putting yet another hole in my body. This time I put it on my backside… not the most convenient place, but it wasn’t sore, and I could reach it, so there ya go. And if all goes well, that’s where it’ll stay for the next 3-4 days while my hips and abdomen take a vacation from being poked.
Today is also an example of those days when I can be doing everything right, and my sugars still aren’t “perfect”. There is nothing out of the norm going on, and I have been doing everything “right” but they are running in the 180’s consistently. I have eaten very well today, and have eaten things that I am confident of the carb counts … and still that number is higher than usual. It could be from a number of things – maybe I’m getting sick and don’t know it .. maybe some of life’s stressors are weighing on me more than I realized … who knows. All I can do is what I am doing, by checking my sugars regularly, and keep on truckin’ and correcting the high’s.
Hoping I do not sound like I am complaining, today is just a keepin’ it real and tellin’ it how it is kinda day. 🙂