I have my 3 month Endo appt today…and like most other T1′s feel before theirs, I’m dreading it. There is always the dread of knowing that my numbers will be higher than the last time. At my last appt, I had been doing a low carb diet and had lost a few pounds and was taking less than 1/2 of my insulin that I’d been taking before then. So it was no suprise that my A1C had dropped a full point. I was SO proud of myself. This time, I have no doubt it will have crept back up. :/ I’ve had a stressful couple of months and my blood sugars are definitely reflective of that.
I was telling one of my fellow DOC’ers, Kelly, the other day that by now the number is what it is, and I can’t change it going backwards. But what I CAN change is the number going forward. So that’s all I can do. No real reason to stress because it’s not going to change anything at this point.
Does anyone else besides me strategically schedule their appt beforelunch but after the 2 hour breakfast mark? I want a good number to show up on that meter when they prick my finger. And if it’s not a good number, I always have some sort of excuse – “I had a late breakfast”, “I just had a cup of coffee”, “I was low an hour ago”.. etc. Sad, but true.
And then the worst thing I find myself doing … is right after my appt, I treat myself to a “good” lunch, because it’s as if I’m free and won’t have anyone looking at my numbers for awhile. I only do it for lunch – it’s not like I do this for the next 3 months. But it’s something I’ve always done. Maybe it is more of a treat.. to reward myself for getting through the appt. I always thought I was the only one that obsessed about my endo appt – beat myself up over them. Until finding so many others in the DOC that do the same thing. It’s not fun, but it’s a fact of life that we all go through. None of this is helped by the fact that I’m an admitted overthinker.
Off to print my CGM graphs …