I was scrolling through my meter the other day, and saw something that bothered me. And made me think.
My 7 day average was 167. My 14 day average was 168. And my 30 day average was 162.
At least I’m consistent.
But constistently not good. I realized I haven’t had a low in a long time. So I scrolled back through and found that my last low was May 12th. It was only a 64, and was a result of walking around in the heat at the zoo all afternoon. Not that I want to be low, by any means… but I was on a roll for awhile with a lot of lows. Then bam, no more. I seem to hover in the 160s (apparently) and upwards. The last week or so I have been in the high 200s/low 300s several times.
I adjusted my basals week before last, because after I downloaded my CGM data I saw I was running high every night – and it wasn’t too long ago that I was waking up low every day. It seemed to work for a few days, but I’m already creeping back up. *sigh* I am someone who does not like change very much, so having this disease can be even more frustrating sometimes. Because there is nothing consistent about it. You can do/eat the exact same thing every single day, and end up with different results every single day. To paraphrase Scott, over at Rolling in the D, you can watch the same movie 80 times and it will always end the same way. But you can live 80 days as a diabetic, and your day will end differently every single day.
I have 3 weeks and 2 days until my next endo appointment (not that I’m counting – yea right.) This always starts to stress me out (even though I’m aware that is counter productive) because I start playing the “I have 3 weeks to turn this around” mind game. When reality is, 2 months of that A1C number have already been established. Now it’s just a matter of cleaning up the next 3 weeks, which will still likely be a significant increase from my last A1C which was the lowest I’d had in a long time, and I was so proud of myself for getting back into the 6′s. Why can’t I get to a point where I’m so proud that I actually try to stay there?
I can make excuses for myself all day long. I haven’t felt well for weeks – I’ve had allergy issues that won’t go away. I’m stressed out at work and with life in general. It was
that donut those 2 donuts I ate last Friday. My housework is falling behind (actually it fell a long time ago.) Any one of those things will contribute to the big picture.
But at the end of the day, it’s on ME to control my blood sugar the best I can and I’m not doing a great job at it. I will do better. Because even though I can keep making those excuses till I’m blue in the face…. the numbers won’t lie.