I’m an overthinker. Not a hyphochondriac, but definitely an overthinker.
So when I feel anything “out of the norm” I always think, “What is that?” There is something in our body/brain that causes every single thing we do. Every ache. Every pain. Every muscle twitch. Good and bad. The human body is am amazing machine, and it fascinates me. So when I feel any sort of minor chest pain, I always notice it (although it’s likely indigestion.) Or if I feel a pain/ache in my lower back, kidney area, I notice it. When my hand goes to sleep easily, I notice it.
I am in my upper 30s so my body is experiencing normal aches and pains. But when you have something like diabetes lurking in your body … you have the added thoughts of “Is my diabetes finally catching up to me?”
Let me preface by saying I hate thinking that way. I do. And I don’t talk about it to anyone … I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me or more importantly to worry about me. But I’m just keepin’ it real and being honest.
I was told once a long time ago that any time your blood sugar is over 200, it’s doing irreparable kidney damage. I doubt that’s technically true, but definitely too many high’s will catch up to you. And what worries me more than that are my three stints in DKA several years ago. Surely that did some sort of irreparable damage. I feel like I’ve always been so lucky to not have any end organ damage. It’s like I’m living a normal life, not allowing diabetes to hinder me in anyway, but in the back of my mind, I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Waiting for diabetes to finally rear it’s ugly head and say “I’m heeeeeere.”
I understand you completely, Shannon.
Thanks, Scott – I don’t know if that makes me relieved or sad, though. :/
(Sorry, hit POST too soon). I understand completely. I’m also in my late 30s and starting to feel “old”. Diabetes-wise, I have nothing to show for it except for calloused fingertips and hard spots on my belly. I know some of the things I do must be causing damage, but I don’t know in what way or when it will become apparent. The not knowing can be really tough.